FOR THE FIRST WEEKS

First steps after losing your spouse

If you are reading this in the first days, you do not need a plan for the rest of your life. You need to know what actually has to be done soon, and what can wait. This is that list, written plainly — gathered with love, from someone who’s walked this road. Take it one line at a time.

The first few weeks

1. 01

   Ask the funeral home for extra certified death certificates

   Almost every office you contact — banks, insurance, pensions, the county — will ask for a certified copy, and some keep it. Ordering ten at once is usually far easier than ordering them one at a time later. The funeral home can normally handle this for you.

2. 02

   Report the death to Social Security

   In most cases the funeral home reports it if you give them your spouse's Social Security number, but it is worth confirming yourself. Social Security cannot take this report online, so it is done by phone or at a local office.

   • Social Security: what to do when someone dies
3. 03

   Ask about survivors benefits and the lump-sum death payment

   Widows and widowers may qualify for monthly survivors benefits, and there is a one-time payment for an eligible surviving spouse or child. The rules depend on your age, your work record and whether you care for a child, so ask them directly about your own situation rather than guessing.

   • Social Security survivors benefits
4. 04

   Find out what happens to your health coverage

   If you were covered through your spouse's job, ask the employer in writing when coverage ends and what continuation options exist. Losing coverage this way usually opens a special enrollment window on the Marketplace, and those windows have deadlines.

   • HealthCare.gov special enrollment
   • Medicare eligibility
5. 05

   Make one list of every bill and account

   Write down each bill, what it costs, when it is due, and which account pays it. You do not have to solve anything yet. Seeing it on one page is what makes the next decisions possible.

6. 06

   Notify life insurance, pensions and any employer

   Life insurance and pension money is not sent automatically — someone has to file a claim. Contact each company and your spouse's employer or union, and keep a note of who you spoke with and when.

7. 07

   Slow down anything that can wait

   Selling a house, moving, giving money away, or making a large investment decision can almost always wait a few months. Grief is not a good time for permanent choices, and there is rarely a real deadline pushing you.

When you have a little more strength

1. 08

   Check your credit and watch for fraud

   Obituaries are public. Request your free credit reports and consider a freeze so no one can open accounts in your name or your spouse's.

   • AnnualCreditReport.gov
2. 09

   Update beneficiaries and your own paperwork

   Your spouse is probably still listed as the beneficiary on your retirement accounts and insurance. Updating those, plus your will and any power of attorney, protects the people you would want to receive them.

3. 10

   Look honestly at the income gap

   Once the benefits picture is clear, compare what is coming in each month to what is going out. If there is a gap, you have time to close it — and it does not have to mean leaving the house or standing on your feet all day.